Love keeps us together The Marriage Debate... Foreigners As Spouses The latest marriage statistics reveal that more Singaporeans are marrying across the racial divide By EUNICE LAU, LYDIA LIM and GRACE MA WHEN Chinese Singaporeans choose a mate, the men appear more conservative than the women, judging by the latest marriage statistics. More Singaporeans are marrying across the racial divide. That was true of 1,651 or 9 per cent of last year's non-Muslim marriages, tripling 1978's 3 per cent, which came to 600. About 40 Chinese men here marry Caucasian women each year. This number has remained constant over the last 10 years. But last year, 248 Chinese women wed Caucasian men, more than 50 per cent more than in 1978. They made up just under half of the 568 Chinese women who married outside their race last year. More than a quarter of the 568 wed Indian men. If a Chinese man looked elsewhere for a mate, however, he looked to a neighbouring country, such as Thailand, Vietnam or the Philippines. Or even farther away, to Africa. A total of 581 went this route last year, out of the 765 Chinese men who registered inter-ethnic marriages here. Such marriages made up 35 per cent of all non-Muslim inter-ethnic marriages. But among non-Chinese Singaporeans, the Indian, Malay and Eurasian men who married outside their race chose Chinese brides. Among women, Malays and Eurasians preferred Chinese men, while four out of 10 Indian women chose Caucasian men. But why the difference in outlook and behaviour among Chinese men and women when it comes to marrying Caucasians? Simple, said sociologist Paulin Tay-Straughan, who points to the educational mismatch between men and women here, and the tendency of women to "marry up" and men to "marry down". "If you look at the singles statistics, the men available are clustered at the lower end, and the women available are at the higher end of the educational ladder." So it is inevitable that they look outside Singapore for mates. The social options for highly-educated women are narrower, since only three out of 10 Singapore men have tertiary education. At the other end of the singles scale, the less-educated men also have fewer choices among Singaporean women and so they look to foreigners instead. It has become so much easier and cheaper to travel and to communicate that it is quite convenient for people across cultures to meet and mate. There are 80,000 foreigners -- professionals and skilled workers -- here on employment passes. Singapore attracts many investors from the United States and Europe, and the staff sent here are mostly white-collar males, said National University of Singapore geography lecturer Kristopher Olds. So it is easier for Singapore women to find a Caucasian mate. Sociologists also point to Singapore being a very patriarchal society still, where the man is considered the head of the households. Caucasian women are seen as being less submissive than their Asian sisters. Dr Alfred Choi, sub-dean of Nanyang Technological University's school of communication studies, said: "The social structure of this society changes very fast in terms of allowing women more or less equal education and job opportunities. "But changes in personal preferences and tastes may take longer. A society's culture and tradition change, but they change more slowly." Singapore men are more hesitant to ask a girl out than Caucasian men. "Local men are not as daring, some are already quite shy to approach a girl from their own culture, it would be even harder for them to approach someone from a different culture," he said. And like it or not, physical appearance counts. "Caucasian women are as big, if not bigger, than the average local man. The traditional idea is that the man protects. If the woman is bigger, it does not quite fit the stereotype!" he said. The Singapore woman who marries a Caucasian or ang moh man has a different kind of problem. Not only is she stereotyped as a "sarong party girl", but the very sight of such a couple arouses complex feelings -- disapproval, resentment and even xenophobia -- in some people. Irrational as these feelings may be, they are deep-seated and deeply felt. Miss G. Lim, 29, a marketing officer, has got used to being stared at when she is out with her French boyfriend. "People stare at me as if I have let down many thousand years of Chinese civilisation. Maybe they think that I'm betraying the Chinese race," she said. Curiously, a Singaporean man with an ang moh woman does not arouse the same kind of intense antipathy. She puts it down to Singapore's colonial past and the fear that "ang mohs who come here will get big salaries and the local girls too". Systems operator Juraimi Mohamed, 29, is unabashed about feeling so proprietary. "Naturally, we would want our local women to be with local men. It's a pride thing." Dr Tay-Straughan believes that as the economy becomes more global and more Singaporeans venture overseas, they will be more likely to meet foreigners and inter-ethnic marriages will increase. More local men will wed Caucasian women, she said, as people shed the stereotypical image of Caucasian women being more outspoken and liberal. But she sees a potential problem: citizenship. "Singapore does not allow dual citizenship. What will happen to the status of the children when they reach 21? What will parents do if the children do not keep their Singapore citizenship? "Are the parents willing to let the children go while they remain in Singapore? These are very difficult decisions to make," she said.