SOCIAL worker Chan Tau Yum, 46, fusses over his second child like a professional nanny.

He wraps one-day-old Jackie carefully and lays him gently in his bassinet at Thomson Medical Centre. John, his elder son, who is 2-1/2 years old, plays around him. Occasionally, the toddler asks his father to carry him up to plant a peck on the newborn's cheek.

Meanwhile, Mrs Laura Chan, 41, a church worker, lies contentedly in her hospital bed. Just 18 hours before, last Tuesday evening, she had given birth to Jackie, who weighed 4.45 kg, by elective caesarean. At 41, she needs all the rest she can get.

"I married and conceived straight away when I was 38. The first pregnancy was easy although I had an emergency caesarean due to my high blood pressure," she recalls.

"Carrying Jackie was more tiring. I had rashes and a hormonal imbalance. The gynaecologist recommended amniocentesis (a procedure to check for foetal abnormalities), for both my sons. But we were prepared to accept the children for what they are, so we decided against the tests."

The Chans wanted to bring up their children themselves. "That means one of us will not be working at any one time. For the first 1-1/2 years, I took care of John and breastfed him till he was 14 months old," Mrs Chan says.

Now, Mr Chan takes care of John at home, while she attends to her parish work.

SHE SAYS

"JOHN was taught independence since he was young. We tend to be very relaxed in his upbringing -- he tasted Hai nanese chicken rice when he was only eight months old.

"We feel that since we might not be around that long, we should expose him to as many people and experiences as possible. If we try to see to all his needs all the time, who is he going to turn to when we are gone?

"The good thing about being a late-age parent is the confidence and security that comes with age. Maybe because I am older, I am a lot more aware of my actions and I think this helps to calm John down. If I were younger, I think I may panic a lot more if he, say, doesn't drink his milk or gets sick suddenly.

"We don't want a maid or a child caretaker. The present arrangement of being a one-income family is good. At least one of us is around to take care of the family. John and his Dad are best pals and, because his Dad is more conversant in Cantonese, John can now speak English, Mandarin and Cantonese.

"But we have to live with the fact that we may not see our children to adulthood. Of course, we would like to see the children grow up and marry and have children but we are prepared not to be able to do so. Physically, I'm more tired; it's especially so with Jackie. We're not going to have another one. We had Jackie for John's sake -- we don't want him to be lonely when we're gone."

HE SAYS

"JOHN is active and does not stop moving so it gets a little tiring. But he's a real joy. I don't worry about finances and emotional support. When I die, I believe God will make sure my two children will be in good hands.

"We don't spoil them. We don't use the cane but we find the plastic spoon very useful. I'm the disciplinarian. Maybe it's because I'm older, I won't tolerate nonsense like young parents tend to do."