MERCHANDISE manager Grace Hausjah kept marriage and motherhood late because of her career.

She married at 38 and became a mother at 41. Her husband, a sales manager, was 45 then.

Their daughter Daphne, a precocious four-year-old, was delivered three weeks early by caesarean section.

"When I got married, I didn't want to have children," says Madam Hausjah, now 46, a Chinese Indonesian who is a Permanent Resident. "My career is very important and I was sure I couldn't afford the time to have a baby."

But this changed after two years.

She says: "We found our lives a little empty and we felt that having a child would make the family more complete.

"We considered the possible factors like age, time, finances and the possibility, let alone the risk, of getting pregnant at my age. We decided to go ahead anyway."

She got pregnant in September 1994. But two months later, she lost her baby. When she became pregnant again in February 1995, she stopped work and "really rested", she relates.

The amniocentesis, a test which involves the extraction of amniotic fluid from the mother's womb to check for foetal abnormalities, showed no defects and it was smooth sailing after that.

"But I developed high blood pressure and the water bag broke after a few days of medication. Daphne arrived three weeks earlier but she was well and healthy," she recounts.

Now, she and her publicity-shy husband are enjoying their time with Daphne.

She says: "At our age, it's difficult to imagine having baby talk with her. At the beginning, I used to scream at her but I realised she didn't understand what I was saying. Now, we're both smarter -- we negotiate." SHE SAYS "DAPHNE'S extremely mature for her age. Sometimes, she sees us talk a little loudly and she'll ask us not to scream at each other or we'll frighten her. In a way, she keeps us in check.

"We have to check constantly that we don't spoil her or are giving her a little too much.

"Both my husband and I also have to plan ahead. She must be independent and we don't want her to shoulder the burden of having to take care of us when we grow old.

"We feel that we'd be too old to look after her needs as time passes. So her character-building has to start young, when we can still manage.

"Late-age parenthood means I have less stamina to keep up with her. Sometimes, I get too tired even to answer her questions, and she is very inquisitive. We hope to see her through school and start work and get married. Asking to see our grandchildren may be a bit too much.

"We're not considering having another child. The time frame doesn't allow it and we want to be fair to the children and not deprive them of the attention they should get. Besides, at our age, we can't afford to be working till we are well into our 70s, can we?

"I think there may be some sort of generation gap. I have to talk her language and I have to know who's Pikachu and what's a Pokemon. I went to a toy shop and the salesman asked if I was getting something for my grandchild.

"My advice to parents? Have kids early. It's much easier!"